Lessons from an Epic Woman
Angelina, Ariana, Beyonce, Cher, Ellen, Joanna, Kylie, Oprah, Serena. All first names that we instantly recognize in conversation. All game changing, authentic women who have made significant contributions to our culture.
Since I’m a tennis player, I’d like to take a little time to recognize one of my favorites from the list - my tennis court alter ego - Serena. That’s right, when I’m playing, I’m pretty sure we are one and the same. You know – overall powerhouse, with lighting speed and a killer serve. (For the record, my serves are about 1/3 the speed of hers, and I’d probably pull a muscle trying to run down even one of her shots.) Nonetheless in my imagined most Serena-esque way I somehow believe that my opponents automatically fear me when I walk onto the court with my oversized tennis bag, towel and huge “I mean business” water jug.
We have to pause and think about what it was like to be Serena coming into her own in the tennis community, along with her sister, Venus. Imagine the resentment of tennis royals as these young sisters from Compton California came out for the tournaments, upset stereotypes, provided on-the-job clinics on new levels of play and left with the trophy, Veni Vedi Veci style. Serena won her first grand slam, the US Open, in 1999 at the age of 18. Since then she’s won a total of 23 Grand Slam Titles (more than any other woman, save Margaret Court who won her last title in 1973) and is tennis.com’s “Women’s Player of the Decade”. Many simply refer to her as the Greatest of All Time (GOAT).
I remember playing mixed doubles league tennis one hot Saturday morning in July 2004 at a local Atlanta neighborhood. Someone brought a TV down to the courts so we could watch the Wimbledon Finals between Serena and Maria Sharapova. My partner and I had just won, so I was feeling pretty pumped. As I sat down to rest, grab a bite and cheer for the rest of my team, to my surprise, I noticed that this American crowd was cheering vigorously for Sharapova who represented Russia!?! …Huh??? …Why?
“She’s arrogant,” “I like her sister better,” “She throws tantrums,” they say. So showing competitive fight was acceptable for John McEnroe (Mr. “You Can’t be Serious!”) but not acceptable for Serena? On that same note, has anyone ever seen the average hockey or baseball game where all the players run out to join a swarming fight? So it’s OK for men to be human in sports, but not women?
The world wasn’t ready for Serena’s braids, body, perfection or her humanness. Even today the world doesn’t know her behind-the-scenes life as a mother, wife, entrepreneur and philanthropist.
With all that in mind, here are a seven lessons that women must learn from Serena as we move toward being epic:
Surround yourself with people who always have your best interest in mind. These are the folks who will listen, motivate, and tell you the truth. In Serena’s case it was her family, and especially Venus.
Be authentic. Serena didn’t change her style of dress or hair to fit in. In fact, she was and still is a style creator. She speaks up when she is treated unfairly and otherwise let’s her racquet (her excellence at her craft) do the talking. Delight in your uniqueness.
Make a way. Serena HATES to lose. “If plan A isn’t working, I have plan B, plan C and even plan D,” she states.
Maintain intense focus on your goals and do not settle. “I always believe that I can beat the best, achieve the best. I always see myself in the top position.” Repeat that last sentence to yourself.
The behind the scenes work counts, all the time. “Luck has nothing to do with it, because I have spent many, many hours, countless hours, on the court working for my one moment in time, not knowing when it would come.” Prepare for when our moments come up.
Learn from your mistakes and then move on, quickly. “I decided that I cannot pay a person to rewind time so I may as well get over it.” What good does it do to “live” in past mistakes?
Be brave and humble: "Make sure you're very courageous: be strong, be extremely kind, and above all be humble,” she says.
Some still aren’t ready for epic women like you, me, and Serena. There will be roadblocks and obstacles that are totally out of our control. We must find a way to get past the roadblocks, as there is so much to get accomplished. It won’t always be easy, but it will indeed be rewarding. A great quote to bear in mind is from Dr. Steve Maraboli – “The wise will admire you. The wishful will envy you. The weak will hate you. This is the reality of those who dare to be epic.”
